Connected Souls – LIBRATED

Face, Soul, Head, Smoke, Light, Sad, Spirit, Mask…ney subah subah kitna rula diya ……
I read the whole writing of urs on that FB page ………kindly add me as well.
Now let me put my heart in front of you ………
U remember wen i visited India in 2014 and met Richie in your office ….he said 1 or 2 such sentences that took me to flashback for an instance and i remembered the same (almost) time i had gone through …….but that time i thought its just a phase and he will definitely come out of it …specially wen he is attending the office ………..and i kept quite ………………..
I alwaz had a thought in my mind that once he had come and seen the working system in uk , he will definitely come back and by the time he will come i will be all ready and settled to look after him …but that thought also got frozen now ………………….
when he went to Russia i used to get all his updates on FB and i was quite happy for him that he is getting a gud start and exposure ….all his updates like midnight coffee and what he is imbibing from that environment ……. all of a sudden all the updates stopped …..believe me or not 5 days before his Bday i felt a bit uncomfortable ….i cant explain wat that feeling was and i wanted to visit his profile and i wa ssearching for him but he deactivated his Fb account i guess . i was concerned what could be d reason and all of a sudden i wanted to mail you regarding this …….
but i made a grave mistake by thinking that it is his personal matter and i should not interfere with that ………sometimes ppl deactivate thr accounts for one or the other reasons ………
i cant forgive myself for this …if i would have mailed you may be u wud have extracted his thoughts or that wud have diverted ur attention AND  this could have avoided that mishap but now its only would haves or could haves ………..
I AM SORRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Believe me or not i am equally disturbed with this and i can feel n understand your pain………..nobody can imagine how deeply i am connected with you ( but my bua definitely has an idea.)……………………
may be from the last 2 mails u might be thinking that vo baccha jo har choti choti baat aur problem cheekh cheekh ke batata tha ab badi badi baten gayab kar jata hai………………….
That visit from India has changed me so much and made me distant with everybdy to such an extent that i have started keeping all the storms inside me only …..but aanya understands everything….. wenever i start crying all f a sudden she dutifully
stands in front of me having a wipe in her hand and tries to wipe away the tear even before it drops down….she hugs me and cuddles me …..she waits n says mum 1 tear is gonna drop in a minute like as if she is playing some game ……
I waNT to be the same AANYA FOR YOU …….!!!!!!!
i loved that school and councelling idea and consider me a part of that too …1 day definitely i will join that personally for sure. right now i don’t have means to be myself or i can say i am nt d master of my own will presently.
1 more thing i wanted to tell you few months back before moving to Edinburgh wen i was so anxious about aanya’s childcare …..it was around 2 pm in the night ..he had gone for his on call visit and i was sleeping …generally i mute my phone while sleeping but that day exceptionally my phone pinged and i saw a message ……my heart stopped beating all f a sudden ..there was an update that u have recieved a message from Vikrant …..i despreately opened it up but it was some other viki  , one of the group member from edinburgh hindu temple offering childcare that my wife can take care of ur child if you want to think abt it …………i remember wen i told richie to visit us he said he is going to Edinburgh with his friends and he loved Edinburgh.
time to time richie will keep on indicating that he is there with us ……
i am a common person but i am sure You  can connect the facts i wrote in this mail.
you might feel that i have written so haphazardly but watever i have written is 100% authentic and i have lived with it .
ho sake to mujhe vo mail na likhne ke liye maaf kar dena ………….aj tak apko kuch nahin bataya socha ki shayad ap is discussion ko entertain nahin karogey !!!!!!
urs forever