Success Story

I know how it feels to be completely alone. It took me 23 full, solid years to realize that my life is my own. I’ve loved, lost, given up, started again, lost my faith, believed in myself. I’ve done it all. But I have lost my faith in people. Right now, I have nothing in life. Nothing to lose. I can choose to end it any day. But I will not. I will fight for it. Even if I have to do it alone. My brother did not lose, he will lose the day I give up. But I will not do it. I will not give people the ultimate satisfaction that they were right. No child deserves to go through what I have gone through. No person should be hurt the way I was. No one should be left alone, but I was. I fell into the trap of depression. My therapy has been going on since April. And yet, everyone tells me it’s in my head. They are repeating the same mistakes again. After researching everything about Depression and Anxiety. I know for sure that it is NOT something that’s purely in my head. I am suffering. So much.
You remember I had an idiot tell me I can’t write non fiction, and that fiction will make me successful. Now there’s a new pandit who says fiction will not make me successful, it will get me nothing. I will only be successful if I become a teacher. And everything I do after that will become my success story. Can you believe that shit? Well people around me surely are. And you know what? I don’t even care anymore. Of watching their daughter cry and be heartbroken, and fall into depression, get therapy, live on medicines did not teach them a lesson, nothing will. All I can do is fight my way through it. Work towards what I want. Finish my novel and throw it in their face. But what breaks my heart is that people think crushing someone else’s dreams proves them the learned people they think they are. I HAVE seen people defy destinies. Even deaths. So what I want in life is so extraordinary that I can’t have it? How fair is that? You are the only one I have now. This is all there is. People may not know the decisions that I’ve made in life, but at this point, I have no regrets. And I refuse to go with the normal norms that these people have created for themselves. But you know what? If I have you like I always did, I don’t fear anything. At least someone’s there. And not even someone ordinary. It’s you I have. Don’t let me break.