Who Killed My Son…….?

Reality Faced by Students – Disclosed

An earnest undertaking to figure out which of the factors enumerated herewith squeezed life from



Woman, Face, Head, Binary, One, Null, ComputerSYSTEM?


The premise on which the transformative years of a child ought to be founded turns the arduous journey of the child-major stepping stone for future to a rhetoric and the pivot on which it should be established is itself full of faults.

The current system triggers crisis in lives of 65% of India’s population which we are preparing to take our care in our later time.

For decades, we have avoided to answer the question which the present system and society raises each moment in our lives. Its high time now to meet the situation head-on otherwise the innate ability,ambitions and hard work of our children will become irrelevant to their future leading to many dissatisfied lives.

The role of education is to prepare students to know, to care and to act in ways that will develop and foster knowledge and skill needed to participate in effective action but the present age which is completely built on hype, deflates reality for the youth.

There is dire need to recognize the core competency of a child. Instead the system which ought to focus the energy of the child towards purposeful objective diverts the capabilities of the youth away from the essence and exploits the innocence of this age to meet selfish ends.

There is a complete mismatch between educational system and market reality. Most university programs are unable to keep face with changing technological advancements and are producing graduates who are, in terms of expertise, not quite industry-ready.

As per recent industry figures, every year about 64% of newly churned graduates do not possess necessary skill for market-as a result they either remain unemployed or underemployed i.e. many perform jobs far below their potential and learning, resulting in further dissatisfaction.

Recently, a news item caught my attention in which for the post of peon requiring matric passing, 23 lakh candidates (with PG &Phd) had applied for the post.
In the guise of allurements, today’s education system is playing with lives of youth. My only son became victim of this cruel monster.

When people get money much more than they deserve, they begin to invest that in safest of all-education and make a business of this life-building task. These businessmen know nothing about education as in their earlier life they have pursued professions which have nothing relevant with education. As a result, they are simply unaware of intricacies involved in it.

Colleges having no or meager infrastructure get recognition with Parent bodies owing to government’s faulty policies. These so called institutes even do not have standard faculty; whatever do exist are of level below par.

Nevertheless, these organizations boast of those very prospects which they are devoid of and misguide innocent young people.

The trouble runs all through from grass root level to top level. To satisfy false self-ego, unfair means are adopted by people at the helm, they manipulate system to the fullest, cook up untrue facts and put up a grand spectacle to target the most soft segment of the population-the youth.

Ambition comes natural to youth. When they are introduced to enticing prospects particularly from foreign countries, they are naturally drawn towards them. Peer pressure aggravates the nuisance.

The cheap politics widespread everywhere outside warm shelter of home eventually proves too much for the child and produces cumulating effect leading him/her to choose self-destruction as the most viable resort.

Corruption forms the basis of this. Further, change of guard at centre complicates the matter. Whoever comes, sets his/her own rules, makes mockery of existing system and creates chaos in life of ordinary youth

.When it dawns on the individual that all this was camouflage, covering the failure of the particular organization to fulfill the empty promises, he/she is not able to tolerate this and may take extreme step.

Among the masses, whoever has better approach or offers more bribe; gets creamy place and the one who really deserves is left languishing.

Part 2

Since the beginning itself, the child has to bear unjustified demands of present system. Starting from school; generally teachers choose the vocation out of compelling circumstances (mostly due to financial crunch) .Teachers like Dr.A.P.J. Abdul Kalam for whom teaching is passion can now be counted on fingers.

When a lady is the teacher, which is usually the case; she has to first satisfy her family requirements(sending husband to office and kids to their school),then after coming to her workplace, she has to put up with attitudes of her staff mates and simultaneously meet expectations of the principal.

In all this supplication, she loses her focus on teaching and the kid who sees motherly affection in her is left unprovided with what should have been given.

After school,for the first time the youngster enters the outside world without familiar protection; full of dreams aiming to fulfill his/her potential and simultaneously satisfying elders’ expectations.

With exponential growth of media, attractive advertisements are projected by incompetent institutes trapping the young mind who gets dragged to enticements without any inkling of things to come.

Elders are not paid heed to because they themselves are perplexed in this scenario and the well-known generation-gap comes in. The child definitely respects his/her parents & elders but their views are often not as per times.

The same parents who taught the child to walk find themselves lagging behind the fast changing times. The child is confronted with so many contradictory things that even in this challenging juncture he/she tries to choose the option which may bear harmony between what the elders are satisfied with and what the times require.He/she faces shock of life when faced by reality that all this is fraud.

The wastage of investment in form of time, money, elders’ faith and so many years of sincere hard work is too much for the youth to bear; leading to his/her resorting to extreme step.

At springtime of life, this system for no real reason causes unnecessary gloom in the youth’s life and the storehouse of energy which ought to be harnessed for constructive purpose leaves the individual utterly disgusted.

This state of affairs does not end here. The present system presents such a rosy picture stealing prospects from here and there that the individual actually feels its real but like a mirage everything turns out to be false.

The situation is like suddenly one is thrown from an airplane ride to a bullockcart one. Subsequently, the person loses his/her zeal to live.

Life is made by this system as too heavy to carry on. It is hard for the vigor of such a tender age to assimilate the unrevealed sudden vast difference between what is presented and ground reality and is now too exhausted to pay heed to anyone.

Indeed, the present system is so spoilt to say the least that if one does not leave the system as my son did, one is himself/herself spoilt and life is rendered too difficult or almost impossible to carry on without compromising on one’s principles.

If one tries to change, perhaps,he/she has lost everything in the process like I have. Its like trying to separate water into two parts with a stick. It’s a vicious circle-a person is constantly dragged further in and in till he/she has completely turned deaf ear to his/her inner voice and then there’s no looking back-he/she adopts unethical techniques to create unwarranted wealth and on its base engulfs the whole community and then nation.

Fruits when ripen by unnatural means are not as good as when they get ripe by natural process. Similarly, the present system, in a hurry to capitalize on everything by hook or crook leaves the righteous utterly disappointed at each and every step.

More so, the person is not able to judge whose fault it is because the situations are fabricated to suit system’s needs in such a way that the individual is left bewildered.

Network, Society, Social, Community, Cooperation

Part 1

When a rock is beaten by hammer & is broken at 100th stroke, it does not mean that 99 strokes have gone waste but it means that the 99 strokes have weakened the rock.

Society plays same role in breaking an individual from inside because its not the outer factors that are so damaging for the individual as the inner factors of society that dig the last nail in coffin of an individual. Alas, the lightest coffins are the heaviest.

The taken for granted tendency of people proved terrible for me. My inclination towards helping others in whatever way possible; often sacrificing the convenience of myself and my family was assumed by my beneficiaries as their right and as soon as their objective was achieved, they became indifferent;

But in the process I was largely left depleted. Not only I, but my family was the major sufferer.

For instance, once when my mother was hospitalized, my whole attention should have been with her but even then others wanted me to be as if everything is alright. Some people’s attitude was remorseful. Often, I have to pay a heavy price for this, sometimes material wise and sometimes at the cost of my relations.

The orthodox mentality of our elders whereby a child is sandwiched is most disgusting. On one hand, they want the child to be well-rooted in our moral values and on the other hand they want him/her to become materialistically strong very early in life.

It is like making one stand in rain and asking him/her not to get drenched. They want their unfulfilled wishes to be satisfied by the child without caring for the child’s wishes.

People say that today’s youth don’t have any significance for our values and traditions but its not so;life today has become so complex and its so difficult to remain happy and appear happy at the same time that some values are forsaken initially(in the interpretation of our elders) at the cost of seeing our near & dear ones happy & if once your feet slip off then they keep on slipping away.

The youth today are as aware of their responsibility towards keeping our traditions alive as our previous generations. On one hand they want their child to keep up with current times and on the other hand they want the child to manage as per their wishes.

Often, while in light vein, I used to jokingly ask my son about the kind of bride he desired; often he used to lament about the step motherly-treatment still suffered by females in India.Even in today’s advanced times, its baffling to see how a mother-in-law discriminates between her daughter and daughter-in-law..

According to him, when a bride enters her new home, it should be remembered that she also is someone’s daughter and sister. She comes to her new home leaving all her relations but this does not mean that she has broken them. In fact, they become more dear to her just like our old friends are so dear to us.

Friends today(irrespective of gender)get distanced when one of them gets married; if the friend happens to be a female, she is entirely expected to cut off all her previous ties however virtuous they are.

As a matter of fact, a baby is most virtuous; and gradually we and then society removes the morality of new entrant in its folds. Actually, we see our reflection in others, what we are, what we fear from ourselves, we see the same as fault in others and we zero in on the one whom we can safely shift the blame-our children are the easiest; but we forget that in the process we damage the very roots of our being.

The most devastating effect of society is that today’s times are entirely based on pretentious display.The youth get tricked by one or the other false methods of showing self-importance and the effect takes cascading form i.e.child, then adolescent,then the youth gets swayed by the pulls of exhibiting nature of society which ultimately prove incorrect.

Sometime ago, a lady approached me for donation towards a society aiding old aged people. Her cause was noble but the way she presented herself was very opposite to the cause what she was vying for. Although, I donated a hefty sum towards the society, but her pompous display was very regretful. Later, when I enquired, I was shocked to discover that 90% of what I donated went to intermediaries and only 10% reached the needed.

Part 2

The conservative outlook of elders really takes a heavy toll on today’s children. When a adolescent enters youth, he/she is always observed with suspicious eye. Sometimes,in a family,3 generations live together i.e.a youth lives with his Parents and Grand Parents. Catastrophic clash of ideas take place.

The attempt to comply with Parents and Grand Parents simultaneously takes a heavy toll on the child at home. For instance- if the child who has now entered youth does not appease grand Parents(which is very obvious in today’s times),Parents are blamed which is detrimental to the child’s mentality because for him his Parents are always to be respected.

In this case,my son was my only child(he had no siblings). There are certain issues which a child cannot share with parents, he can confide these issues only with siblings. If he/she has no one to share with, many things pile up in his mind leading to disaster.

More than a year back, he lost one of his indispensable friends(in an accident) with whom he shared many crucial moments and eventually it seemed he could not come out of this great loss. Perhaps my might also went for the family of the departed soul which could have weakened my all-out moral support for my son which he never revealed.

Nonetheless, I tried to leave the locality where we were neighbors and memories of time they spent together there could further haunt my son but however hard I tried, we could not move and could not prevent inevitable.

When that incident happened, I had the intuition that now in coming 18 months something was going to happen which would change me forever, but I never thought that this could happen.

Splash, Jump, Dive, Sink, Swim, Shore, Coast, Water


Part 1

We get human birth to achieve perfection. My son really had this in him. He did everything perfectly even if that meant more time and resources. Sometimes even I got irritated at his endeavor for this but most of the times I was proved wrong because the end result eventually was the subject of admiration for the masses.

For instance, once he had to prepare for debate on Shakespeare. He did so elaborate research on him that I thought was futile but ultimately he secured top position in that debate competition.

Whenever we had arguments, I always let him have upper hand so as to boost his confidence. He was a very good biker but could not understand when I said that it important to be in race and keep on running. Its not that significant to be a winner always.

In the beginning of his struggle in life, especially after school he was very fresh ready to take on the world, to realize his potential oblivious of the problems, hurdles ahead. In order to stay with family especially his mother, my son rejected offers from top institutes in far-off cities.

The extent of his love for his mother can be gauged from an incident I’m quoting to highlight care for his mother-once when he was in kindergarten, his mother got unconscious; he tried to bring her back to consciousness by sprinkling some water on her face.

After returning to normalcy, when asked how he knew this remedy, he quoted an incident he watched on television (where the actor used the same remedy to revive actress back from unconsciousness).

We used to go together at hair salon and he used to have my hair set as per his liking. He used to do all experiment on my hair-such was our bonding. He used to share all sorts of issues with me there

.A son is everything for his parents. He is their mirror, fulfiller of their dreams, their aspirations; but above everything else, parents want their child to be happy at all costs.

My son complemented me. He not only was my son but my friend also. It is said that when a son’s feet begins to match his father’s, then father should become his friend; but I was his friend from his childhood, perhaps that’s why he never felt absence of a sibling. He confided in me those things one shares with friends and I responded to him like his friend.

We even knew passwords of e-mail accounts of each other. When there was so much transparency between us, I wonder what was that he could not share with me.

I shiver whenever I read the mails his friends sent to him and he sent to them. I knew everyone in his friend circle and because sometime they had given my son happy moments, despite; having some bitterness,and some facts which were not conveyed to me on time I simply wish for their welfare.

We were target of envy for many, indeed whoever met us had never seen a Father-Son pair like us. I could judge that many desired to have Father like me or a son like my son.

When I introduced him to some businessmen to discuss future prospects, they were so impressed by his pertaining skills that they wanted to make him their business partner, but he; being my friend more than my son sensed the selfish interests of those people and even though I wanted to go ahead with them, he used to tell me that I do not take business decisions through brain, but from my heart which is not correct.

Eventually, he was proved correct because as soon as those people came to know of his extreme step, they vanished and did not respond even when I tried to contact them.

All that was done by me for them, now I have to repay for no fault of mine. But however hard I may try, I cannot get rid of my helping tendency similar to however good we do to evil; it cannot rid itself of its tendency to harm others.

When he was born, I had everything materially and spiritually one could vie for. He was in the real sense born with a silver spoon in his mouth. As time passed, I was caught in financial crunch for a short while. That was precisely the time when turning point came in my life.

This was the time when I was completely drawn towards the Divine and was entrusted with the most significant but often thankless task of drawing others towards Him. In Divine Plan, everything happens with a reason.

Nonetheless, I met all requirements and demands of my son even though I could not afford-just to see him happy.During those days,I had to ferry him on bike instead of car. I almost apologized to him for this. He responded by saying that its better on a bike that we can sit close to each other and also we can enjoy lots of fresh breeze which we cannot in car.

He never let anyone sit at side seat of my car, not even my wife because he always used to sit there. I still see him nicely seated there like a moon’s reflection in a standstill sea. Whenever I drive my car, I remember the ground where I taught him to drive. A fast learner, he soon learnt driving and drove me to my office only once.

When he was in 10th std., I had left everyone to seek my life’s pupose but I had come back due to the thought that I have not even taught him to drive.His driving brought me back again into this world but when he learnt driving, he left this world

Whereas his MAC book and his Watches are still lying on my Office table; often I converse with it and ask “WHAT WAS MY FAULT?”

He was brilliant from the beginning. When Parents introduce their kids to others, normally they ask their kids to cite nursery rhyme; my son(in 3rdstd. used to cite slokes from The Holy Bhagvat Gita. Now I’m mentioning an event which changed the course of his life. Till class 3, he studied in a school which laid emphasis on Sanskrit, so in a maths question which carried a word namely dozen,he didn’t know its exact meaning .

Therefore, he was enrolled in an English medium school. A quick and sharp grasper, he soon became the best student not only in his class but in his school and state where he actually set benchmarks. He has won so many awards that often his teachers said to him that he should leave some for others.
Every year on 5th September (Teacher’s Day), either he used to personally greet his school teachers or arrange to send them greetings if he was away. After he left this world, his teachers said that they would bitterly miss him because none used to come and meet them after school.

On teachers’ day this year, his teachers so fondly expressed their gratitude towards him that it was evident that they felt my son’s presence on this day.

My pride knew no bounds when I read the message of my son’s teacher after he left this world. She meant it when she said that she will always celebrate this day with his fond memories and Teachers Day actually is complete for her by my son’s wishes.

Recently, he learnt Spanish language in just 3 months whereas normally, people required at least 6 months. Moreover, he was liked and loved by every Teacher of his college, so while he was still pursuing his Graduation; from the same college his Foreign Faculty even proposed only his name for his MBA scholarship.

Everything was fine and he was pursuing graduation from a very prestigious institute which promised degree from London which would be recognized in India, he faced shock of his life when suddenly after 2 years the institute revealed that their degree is not valid in India and no one would be applicable for appearing in any Exams in INDIA.

This is when the smile and zeal for Life of the child vanished.Such was the reaction that only a few including him did not go to the Court, whereas all other students and Parents went to Court against the Issue but as it had to happen in this country the Management won the Case.

In his constant effort to climb the corporate ladder, he also did job in a prestigious MNC, but, he often felt that his Graduation Degree is as good as School Certificate. Here he felt cheated. by the system.

Determined not to let these blows bog him down, he enrolled himself in a graduation program afresh from a distance learning education institute which would give him much needed platform to validate his skills so that he could complete a genuine graduation and further his studies for his interest in services.
But his world came crashing down when despite his every effort towards adherence to standards for a fulfilling endeavor in life, he was heavily ditched at the last moment.
Now his previous college , which now was on the process of becoming a University again offered M B A courses and again he fell prey to the system.

Things started off well-he again topped in 1stand 2ndsemester but things started worsening with joining of a new Director in the second semester of his course. My son’s subject was International Business, but the said Director of marketing had created so many issues

Due to his own Egoistic nature not only for him, but for many students that he feared college-going.He used to sulk over because studies here were based on mugging whereas it should be project based.Just to make him more comfortable, I daily used to go to drop him to college.

A passionate and cool person like me also had a argument with the Director once,and all students watched it, such was his way of dealing with everyone.

His subject’s chief faculty had given him full marks in his subject, and though even the said Director was not at all concerned, but he wanted that he should take his Viva on that Project.

Just 2 days prior to his semester Exams My son was really disturbed and even he told me about it,and the harassement felt by him.It was not only he but all students in the college were troubled by the said Director and had presented a written complaint against him but no action was taken.

My son had on 5thSeptember (Teacher’s Day)had leaving aside all regrets against the said Director greeted him, and forgiven him. He told him that although he was well established in all his subjects, but being a Perfectionist in everything that he does, just to concur to his often unnecessary demands, he had to go beyond his normal obligations.

My wife is suffering from cancer and due to this my son was more troubled so at times he would sometimes love to be with his mother and even I myself had shared this Fact with the said Director , which otherwise I have never discussed with anyone, still he made things more difficult for my son.

He was not of such age so as to handle so much pressure. The cruelty of system and society were trying to put his righteousness at stake. At the same time, he had always been a topper, which he could not compromise on.

All these factors gripped him so tightly that he could find no way out and he was so perturbed that he went teaching all of us how this system suffocated him to death.

Part 2

His penchant for travelling brings chain of memories to my mind. He had marked what all places he had to visit on world map.

While applying for visa to Mexico, he encountered some troubles due to shortcomings in the system. He was so upset with this event that he deleted Mexico from his list of places to visit on world map.

Once,one of his school friends was leaving him for pursuing a course in law. He gifted his I-pad to him for which his mother scolded him since she feared that this was the beginning that my son was treading my path of giving his all to others.

So she wanted to nip the bud before it flowered. But my son (being extraordinarily emotional) took her scolding so seriously that he suffered from Anxiety Neurosis and had to be treated in hospital.

He was so economical in his expenses that among his group of students who went to London for Graduation, he spent the least, this was because he had no bad habit on which he could spent money.

He was fond of watching movies in theatre, that was his lone expense and as far as education is concerned, he had gone there on scholarship;watching movies made him choose critic writing his subject in future exams i.e. he had turned his hobby to his advantage for futhering his studies and career-something we all vie for in our lives.

While on a business trip to Moscow he rang me up everyday telling about how he discussed various things with different people and how he made friends of different nations.

During his stay in Moscow, he addressed a business meet there with such aptness that the directors there appreciated him so wholeheartedly since his diplomatic skill had laid the foundation of a landmark deal that was to be reached between the two nations.

He had enjoyed such a grand party there that he completely exhausted my American Express credit card. I was so overwhelmed by his effort that I was going to gift him with the office he had always dreamt of on his Birthday.

He had sharp business acumen also, being son of a businessman, so I had planned a career for him which would satisfy both his needs-business and travelling and he was progressing very well.I could neither present him that office nor move forward with the business.

His life’s journey ended before beginning; before entering life’s university, the barbarian concrete university cornered him.He always knew the ephemeral nature of life and the materialistic aspect being very dominant today.

He was against all this but found himself being forced to follow this in his life.
All because of alluring advertisements from educational institutes. Before facing life’s struggles where I would have so greatly helped him to sail through and simultaneously make him learn from bitter experiences, everything is finished.

When time arrived for me to make him realize not to yield to unnecessary, insignificant pressures;lest purpose of life’s journey will be lost, he was compelled in following what was not meant for him.

I can answer anyone in the world, even God; but I’m not able to answer my wife. Actually his fate was sealed in his name which really meant that he had to carry numerous bounded souls to the other side.

I explain to my wife that souls like his come to the earth with a particular motive which in my son’s case was to wash innumerable sins of many.

They choose their own path and their end is particularly gruesome because in a short span of time, that soul has to neutralize undesirable fate of several people. Providence supports them in their chosen path since it is concurrent to His Will.

One thing is a fact which cannot be proven. When a human being completes the agenda for which he/she is sent to this earth, his/her life ends without premonition.

Although, family of departed soul felt that it ought to have fulfilled their aspirations, but the truth is that neither is anyone dear to soul nor the soul is dear to anyone, to be more specific-the soul is neutral to all.

When my wife is not able to listen to my any argument, I tell her the story which brought me back from the unknown land again into this world. A poor couple desired a child from God only for the sake of having a child. God granted them their desire on the condition that they will have to abandon the child as soon as it is born. When child is born to them; with heavy heart they abandon it. Next day they receive news that the child is adopted by the childless royal couple of that region.

Hence, the Divine condition which they were ruing over like a curse becomes a blessing in disguise because what the child’s parents would not be able to give him, was gained by the child through the Divine intervention.“Something better is in store for our son”I tell my wife.

Birthday, Cake, Birthday Cake, Dessert, Celebration


Part 1

When my son took this extreme step, it was too hard for me and my wife to accept this, The biggest question was why we were not able to judge this happening before itself.It is not that he had not tried to evade such deadly thought from his mind(because he knew the importance of human birth),

On his BIRTHDAY, which was also his 1st Exam day; from 2pm onwards, it again happened in his entire life; this was the first exam that was post Lunch,otherwise every Exam that he appeared in his entire life, he used to go with me in the morning,

On that day he even tried to talk with his friends , his mentor, his cousin sisters far and near but that day no one responded the way he wanted to share and just wanted that someone should say don’t go for your exams if you are not comfortable.

but may be even GOD had other plans,and the moment he felt he could not swallow or continue with given state of affairs, something or the other happened which forced him to go back to his gloom and when such malignant thought comes to mind, no rational thought can prevent it.

My son was particularly attached to my youngest sister. She happened to be his friend, lucky charm and counsellor. Often my son used to spend lot of time chatting with her , more than us. Even on exam days, if he was unable to speak to her before the paper, he tried to contact her just before the paper by coming out of the examination hall.

On that fateful day, as his exam was from 2 pm, he did not speak to my sister who did not call him either which could have changed his mind. Alas,GOD had other plans for my son.

When I think about this by putting myself in his place, I get the answer-a child knows his value for his parents. Whatever happens will happen afterwards but a child wants to spend his last days seeing his parents happy.

No one knows when his last would come but see my son chose his last which one cannot dare to choose. He chose his BIRTHDAY.He came in this world on 22nd, went on 22nd, after completing only 22 years of his Life.

To add to our loss, people left no stone unturned to point suspicious finger at my son. When a father carries his son’s body for cremation, no sorrow in the universe can equal this but society’s brutality is indescribable.

Instead of letting parents to themselves, they add to their agony by making one or the other untrue allegations. People cannot be prevented from making unnecessary utterances. Its their job. Actually, they themselves are so frustrated with their lives that they get some satisfaction by hurting others.

However, this is like throwing stone upwards towards sky. In the process, they are digging their own graves.

To complicate matters, other family members add to parents’ anguish by terming this as flaw in their upbringing. Already, I and my wife were unable to accept this sudden acute loss; we were not able to come to terms with this divine intension.

We were literally hoping against hope that somehow this turn of events could be reversed and we would get our baby back but to get something against Divine Plan leads to loss in other form which I could very well judge due to my trustworthy intuition.

We are all instruments in Divine hands and when our Will tunes in with Providence’s, then no matter how crucial is the relation or binding, we cannot act against Divine decree.

This was my most difficult test-on one hand there was Providence and on the other my beloved son who bore the brunt of my aid to others.

As I’m endowed with unfailing intuition and as a result of my constant endeavor to develop it, I very well knew what all things could harm him. I had warned him about them well in advance about the friends from whom he ought to guard himself,

but those very things proved to be his doom. Like at the time when Abhimanyu was brutally killed in Kurukshetra battlefield, ShriKrishna and his father (though he knew sonic archery) were away; everyone who could prevent my son from taking that extreme step on that fateful day; were away from him and everything went against.

Regarding his friends who he required to be cautious against, often I went out of the way to help them in every possible manner; so that my son could be guarded against the previous karmas’ evil effect the soul embodied in them could take up.

On the fateful day, as usual I bade him bye while leaving for my office; twice I kissed him as usual and shake hands with him, but he did not respond in the friendly manner as always we did

.As it was his exam day I avoided asking him the reason so that he may not get in a off mood .Though I reached office in troublesome mood but as I had to drop him for college later, I thought I would ask him the reason after his exams.

I usually used to wait outside his campus for every exam that he appeared,in his Life and would come back with him. In those 3 hours I used to study read, write whatever appealed me.

Two days back he simply apologized to me lying by my side without any reason.

When I got to know at about 11:30 AM, I rushed to the hospital and entered ICU for the first time in my life.

My wife had been suffering from life-threatening disease. She endured excruciating pain on this account, underwent operation, withstood the horrifying chemotherapy sessions and is fighting with the disease till this day. All through, I have single-handedly helped her overcome the misery without ever entering hospital.

My father also was once operated upon but I never entered hospital)but they both returned home safe and healthy.

For 8 hours we struggled there. And things had started getting normal by the evening but, everything was disturbed due to visit by someone had come to meet that hour of the day.

And I had a feeling that due to this person I also had faced the most severe down fall in my life and because I never wanted any negative vibrations to come out of my mind for anyone, I just got up from that place for 3 minutes, so that I can ask someone to send them away; after a short while they left, but in that very duration the damage was done.

Part 2

Just after the incident, I was so out of sorts that I, who knows A to Z of computers, could not even support his mother to help with his laptop. She then, with great difficulty learnt to operate computer and went to Apple’s service centre to retrieve back the documents in his laptop-the system had crashed as it was off for so many days.

His mother, who does not let anyone else touch his gadgets-I-phone, I-pad, I-5; goes to sleep while crying and affectionately looking at his photos in these gadgets.

Sometimes, she even does not sleep, but waits for her son to call her from his room and then he will complain that why does she sit with me , and will ultimately force his mother to sit with him.

Doctors have increased the potency of her sleeping-pills; still she is not able to sleep. The alarm for the timing of her medicines was set in mobile of my son, it was also required to be reset.

. All his contacts and messages ,letters which he used to send to his cousins Aditi, Anshul and-his friends-Yash, Ashu, MonaDi, and to mention Muffin and others were read by us.

Once, he was entrusted to see-off his grand Parents when he had to go somewhere as I was preoccupied by some other work. The attendant in the coach took special care of my Parents throughout the journey.

Afterwards we came to know that because he had given tip to the attendant, he took special care of them. When I asked my son how did the thought prop up in his mind, he replied that he was following my deeds.

I’m puzzled that when he cared so much for them, how could he think that they can live happily without him.

When it was his Grandfather’s first birthday after the incident, I could not muster courage to embrace Him, because I feared that I may cry since my son did not respond with usual warmth on his birthday.

Whenever I tried to teach Him to operate the ATM, he always returned to the car crying. His Grandmother needs sedatives to sleep but despite that wakes up at midnight crying that why he has left his father alone?

We received his Death-Certificate after one month of applying. I had to go to police-station, which I had avoided the most but one has to go many times.But here I would thank the Officers concerned who were quiet polite in getting statements.

His mother was full of tears while she was narrating the Incident. The police said that eventually everything happens with Providential intervention but that we had chosen wrong hospital and we were staying in wrong locality, where these events with negative vibrations have been taking place frequently.

Studying his PM report telling about his Heart Congestion, and other details was such a torture for me that has compelled me to plead with kids and young people not to bring this day in their parent’s lives.

I molded innumerable individuals and families and led them to achieve whatever they desired without letting them compromise with what is right. I have prevented many youth from resorting to this extreme step, but when time came to shape my only son’s life, cruel fate has snatched him from my arms.

I have always comforted others; but somehow this was compensated by my son’s life because he was and still is evermore dearest to me. I have shed more tears than I have wiped.

I have given everlasting relief to several families but the same people have tormented me to the maximum although in valueless terms.

Life has literally lost its meaning. I have innumerable times in the past experienced sorrow but every time, I have sailed through and emerged a further stronger person. In fact, difficulties have always been my forte.

I have counseled numerous people to lead satisfactory lives but now I just wonder how to move forward.

Now my wife needs more than ever. We have to live for , the rest of the people who matter a lot even now, to me though no body can take our son s place.

. As a matter of fact, its not that providence had not supported him earlier-when he had to submit fees for his semester, there was not adequate amount in my account but for 3 days the rate of pound in Indian rupees drastically came down enabling me to provide for his semester fees. When God helped him in this manner, I wonder could not He give him few more years to live.

Initially people’s tantrums were insignificant for me but eventually, I was taught a very concrete lesson by all this.

I must still treat this insignificant infact more unsubstantial, however I must now concentrate how to redeem my son’s soul who embodied in whichever frame needs my everything for his upheaval.

I can now help him in immeasurable terms which only I can because now I have nothing to loose but everything to give to my son.

Recently, I read an advertisement of that institute very similar to what allured my son. I shivered at the thought of some other youth getting entrapped; then I decided to take this tough stance to tell the world how my son was entangled in this.

No amount of justification is adequate for my loss but suddenly turn of events took place in such a way that it appears prudent to keep my troubles with me only because no one can do anything to evade them but its also true that tides occur in oceans and large seas not in ponds or lakes.

When life becomes a question mark, what we need to realize is that Divine Will requires that whatever obstacle is present in the path of a soul who has been sent for redeeming other souls entangled in complicacies of world; has to be removed no matter how tough this may appear initially and contemplation on this truth answers my question.

Its similar to when parts of a tree are pruned so that it may grow in a better way.I now realize that this happened with us because we could endure this loss and only we can and must now collect our battered selves.

Its how we getup after this huge fall that will decide our future. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. I cannot allow myself and my family to suffer any further.

To describe my life so as to warn people against the evils of present system-Sowing of this small seed of painful record of my life’s most dreadful phase shall definitely start soon sprouting to a full-fledged movement because I know everyone reading this has grudge against this system

But is not able to express since either we fear the outcome or we fear the tedious maze one has to travel to reach the centre and that is the time when most of us give up.

Present is future’s fabricator. I wanted that my son should always shine like the Sun; for that he and I literally burnt like Sun .Now, he is actually lighting lives of numerous individuals through his message telling them not to sway with pulls of society and system.

If one goes with the wind, no big is achieved, its only when one tries to break the barriers and follows only his/her beliefs does one lives on his/her own terms.

When not required, it is shed like a discarded garment. The Real You is timeless, beyond Birth and Death. The body will survive as long as it is needed. It is not important that it should live long.

A series of questions to be raised in mind of readers is prime objective of this heart-tearing scrutiny. Is school education or higher education system the culprit as; or Parents and family responsible for the happening or the Government policies and political environment or the industry.

Beyond, Death, Life After Death, Life Eternal, Mystical



There’s so much beauty in this world, but we have made life so complex that only adverse things come initially leading to fall before rise.

We see many young people around us who have everything favorable in life which many vie for yet they are extremely dissatisfied with their lives primarily because they are pushed on life with illogical primordial thought process and the child faces such a turmoil in his/her life that like in a whirlpool he/she goes on sinking deeper and deeper till everything has become hollow.

If the individual is fortunate unlike my son, then this hollowness is filled by some God sent who channelizes the unexplored frontiers in his ward’s life, streamlines the disorder in life of poor chap and gives him/her hope to rise again.

However, this is not solution, its true life is a roller-coaster ride and it is not absolutely rosy. Nevertheless, it is not full of thorns as we have made it for our present generation.

Yes, discipline is a must in life but at the same time we should not forget to enjoy the pleasures of life.

Instead of simplifying things, we have created difficulties in simple tasks ;as a result terror is created in minds of youngsters before the actual.

God gave life to each one of us to fulfill particular mission but we have made path so thorny for our children that before its realization their feet have bleeded so much that they can no longer walk, leave alone reaching their goal.

We have to give to this world what we have received. I think our generation has received its fair share so why we have become so miser in giving? Its our compulsory obligation to make this world a better place to live in.

For this we need to start with tiny steps. Ultimately we will be able to climb the chaotic mountain and reach its zenith. The process will be very tedious, often disappointing but we have to carry on. Generally, the darkest hour of the night comes just before the dawn.

To start with, we need to be honest with ourselves, we need to root out this devil of corruption.

If we do not offer bribe, how can anyone take it. We need to stand firmly by our principles, we need to decipher our concepts before thrusting them on our children.

Our nativity is our strength. Since ancient times, India has been world teacher. We need to take pride in our culture, our spirituality and pass them on to our children.

Today, western nations are benefitting from our culture and we who actually possess them are trying to adopt those very things which have actually brought harm to them. As a result, we have literally spoiled our country.

We are independent nation only on the surface, inside,the   Britishers have actually enslaved us. It’s a pity that today’s generation have no regards for our rich heritage. For them these are just facts and figures.

None other is to be blamed but ourselves,our parenting, our upbringing which has become so busy in today’s rat race that we have absolutely messed up lives of our children

There’s nothing like ideal or perfect life but sooner or later it dawns on all of us that in our search for that satisfaction which we tried to fulfill by attending to material needs, we have become completely depressed.

Its high time that we open our eyes to the dormant volcano which can activate anytime and shatter us. We need to make our future master, not jack of all.

We become complacent by just seeing one oasis in whole desert, which we need to guard ourselves against because we have to tread many milestones before our objective can be realized.

Life is an untamed sea for our children and we have to teach them step by step to reach the top. We have to tell them as we have experience that everything happens with a purpose and even though it may appear very gloomy initially, with passage of time we come to know its significance.

We need to teach them to just let life unfold itself at its own pace, be first honest to self before others(be that family). We have to nourish their thought process that whatever is happening is to teach you something.

There’s always a better or different way of doing things-big or small and life is constant process of this discovery and in this journey we undergo through innumerable pleasant & unpleasant situations.

Difficult patch can extend far too much beyond what one can endure but like every lock has a key; similarly every problem has a solution, one just has to let the lean phase pass by because form is temporary but class is permanent.

As one turns the pages of life, then one fine morning something favorable happens and we find our feet firmly on ground; .its exactly the time when one must en-cash the situation and instead of letting the success go into our head we must utilize the sudden flood of positivity for valuable tasks and must prepare ourselves to fight with any future adverse circumstances to save ourselves from falling into gloom again.

We need to shed our inhibitions and learn to say no to what is wrong in our perspective. What I want to tell my young readers is that they must learn from what my son did, that no matter what may come, times never remain the same.

.And the need of the hour is we need to keep our mind-body fit irrespective of how down life tries to drag us, we have to have strong conviction that things will definitely improve; we must endure and if necessary protest,even revolt against the present system-society-government policies.

My dear young readers, its when you are surrounded by most gloomy of conditions ,the best comes out of you, only when you venture in deep seas do you realize how deep the waters are.

Its only then that you can confidently decide which direction to take-whether to go further or be at same level or change your direction. The more problematic life appears to be, the more higher goal Lord has set for us.

Only we are not able to orient ourselves, but nothing to worry because like Pole star guides ships towards their destination similarly some unknown force leads us even though we are unable to recognize Him.

At times, life may seem totally out of control, unmanageable; just have faith in Him through yourself. He will pull us out of rough waters

The more difficult time is, we need to keep more restraint and not let ourselves from getting ourselves into cocoon of sadness, we need to remember that we are His Masterpieces and it takes times for a lump of soil to be moulded into beautiful and strong pot;

Then we are living miracles, so let time take its course to make us into wonders. What’s the deal if things go as predicted with some disappointments here and there? Even diamond has to go through cutting before final .

So more hardships means more importance being added to our stature. Life can hit anyone in hardest of ways. Its not about hitting it back .Its all about being hit in the hardest of ways and still moving ahead .

This is what He ensures. Cherish life’s little moments and create happiness out of apparent nothing. That’s the Art of Living. Learn from tiny tots, they become happy with not much reason.

You have to discover the spark which is present in each one of us but has been long and deeply buried with a beautiful covering inside the soil of numerous constraints-





Innumerable positives can be created from a single negative .

You are a wonderful castle with a strong foundation.


Please Speak Out